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Pastor's Wife's Support Board

The purpose of this page is to support and encourage pastor's wives.  If you are a pastor's wife and have a question, helpful suggestion, or response to another question or suggestion, please fill out the form and click submit.  Responses will be added later.  Let's help each other!
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Denise  2/19/98  Are there any sisters out there that have planted a church without any members?  The majority of what I have read is you all have been sent to pastor from other churches.  We've been open for one week.  Right now it's just my husband, myself and our two children.  We are believing the Lord is going to send us help.  My husband is preaching and teaching as if the church is already full.  We researched the area that we are in before we opened and right now we are doing outreach ministry.  Any words of advice will be helpful.

Lynn  2/19/98  My husband and I planted a church 3 1/2 to 4 years ago.  We started with just five which was our family.  I would like to encourage you to just be strong in the Lord.  Jesus said not to be weary in well doing for in due season you will reap if you faint not.  God has been very faithful to us.  I will pray for you and your husband.  I know that God will send in laborers.

Patricia in Michigan  3/25/98  Hi Denise!  Wow, am I glad to have this opportunity to encourage you.  God called us to plant a church in 1993.  Like you, we started out with a few members...about 15 (mostly family).  This has been the most challenging walk of faith we have ever experienced.  The ministry has grown to over 100 members and my husband is preaching to them like he's preaching to 1000!  I was glad to hear that your husband is doing the same thing.  It doesn't matter that there's only a few.  God said if you are faithful over a few things, He will make you ruler over many, right?  You know what, Denise, I used to think we were failing because there were only a few for so long.  Know what he told us?  If He had flooded the church with people right off the bat, we wouldn't have been equipped to effectively minister to them.  It took time, but gradually he began to send spiritual, administrative, and practical help we needed to minister to the growing needs among the flock.  I'll just share a few things that helped me during the beginning.  1) Embrace the vision God has given your husband.  Ask God what part He has for you in the vision and give it all you've got.  If he has blessed you musically, begin working with your children to start a choir.  Before you know it, God will send other children.  If your gift is helping, look around the community surrounding your church (they're certainily watching you) and see what you can help with.  Next thing you know, He will start sending help to the ministry.  We saw a need to clean up the empty lots and surrounding areas of our church.  Next thing we knew, the neighbors started taking better care of their property and some of them started coming to church.  Thank God you are doing is essential for growth!  2) Pray together and pray specifically.  Whatever it is you are desiring for the ministry, agree together and seek the Lord...don't doubt for a second that He will provide in His time.  3) Invite people to church as your "guest."  We have found that it is almost irresistable to people when you ask them to be your special guest at church (if you haven't already, you may want to invest in some church business cards..makes it easier for people to contact you and cards make a lasting impression). You're not asking them to join, but just come and visit.  Don't be will be surprised how many will accept your gracious invitation.  Even if you get a few no's, that's OK... someone will accept.  And when they come, shower them with love!  Some of them will join because they want to keep experiencing that love.  People are really hungry for love and they'll recognize it instantly if it's genuine.  The word of God says they (the unbelievers) will know us by the love we have one for another.  Love is the surest way to grow God's church.  (Hey did I mention LOVE!!!)  4) Finally, just preach the uncompromised word of God and let God use you and your husband in your own uniqueness and personality.  The worst mistake I see new ministries make is trying to be like the guy down the street whose ministry seems to be flourishing.  God is so diverse and so original...he doesn't need clones to get the job done.  You and your husband have something very special and unique to offer.  Let Him grow you one test, one trial, one experience, one day at a time.  I'm praying for you sister!!

Cindy  12/11/98 If your husband feels this is where God has called him, things will work out.  We had a wonderful home almost paid for and God wanted us to move and pioneer a work in a small town.  Our son was a freshman in high school and had gone to school in this town all his life and now it was time to move.  Things were tough at first, but we knew this was where God wanted us to be.  It was only 3 of us at first, then others came (and went) but we had a congregation that stayed with us and grew in power and might.  We had the church for two years and the Lord moved us on to another town.  There was to be someone to take over the church, but they quit the church instead so we had to close.  We now are back in the town we use to live in and started another church from the ground up - in a strip mall building - and our congregation is about 20.  We have been there for 3 months.  We advertise and get flyers out to people. Let people know you are there.  It's great to hear your husband is preaching like it's full.  It is because there are angels listening to him.  Keep up the work and always stay in prayer.  You will see the vision that God has given you if you just wait on him.

Duafe  5/28/01 I only encourage you to stand strong in the power of God's word. If the Lord says move to another location only then do you move. Your obedience in on trial, because at times we grow very anxious to get started in the ministry, because of the burning desire to help those who are hurting. Not fully realizing that, when Jesus walked the earth, His ministry was not in a building, people just walked right up to Him and He healed them on the spot. So the Lord will send people in your path as well. We must prepare ourselves for the unexpected, because the spiritual leaders are expected to be prepared to take on all kind of spiritual issues. So see this as your preparation time. Your gift will make room for you. I was working along side of a new minister in the Lord and I wasn't strong enough to bear the disappointments of not enough people acknowledging him as a minister in the Lord so I became disheartened and walked away from the church. Then I wwent backwards to my old church, that was already established. Now I have to see that the Lord would have blessed that situation had I have remain faithful with the little we had. In the winter the heat was messed up, we would opened the doors, with the hope that people would hear our 3 voices praising the Lord. Well I became so discouraged that I walked out the doors and never went back. I realize now that this ministry is worth all the trouble, to see lives changed, and souls saved. P.S. I am a single mother in the Lord please keep me and my family in the ministry.

Ruth  2/13/98  I'm more interested in knowing about clergy wives as people as opposed to their church activities.  What do you like doing and how do you maintain your interests across the various moves?

Sally  3/14/99  Ruth, I'm a people too.  I am a woman with lots of fun and ideas and not enough time.  I have taught school, painted, decorated, crafted, joined secular book clubs with good women, quilted,  served on community Boards and done childrens workshops.  We are about to move and i have shoto
albums to put together now that i have gathered and packed and found lost snapshots.  I have to belong to the community to which we are called not just to a church.  Sometimes only going to the church and the people there seems like being held captive.  As a result of following my heart and the interests God has given me, People in the communities where we have lived have been drawn to the church.  It is like a harvest that has resulted from just being me, God's child.  I have loved the church and God's people and I
like being a part of the body and doing my part.  I also have a is a being who God made me and gifted me to be for all I'm worth.

Suzanne  2/17/98  My husband and I have been in ministry together for several years, and presently he is pastoring a church where he is the only pastor with no other staff.  Recently a friend of ours from a previous church moved (with her husband and kids) to our city (several hours driving time) so that she could take on the role of a volunteer worship leader at our church (we had a tremendous need, and she wants to gain more experience so she can eventually go into full-time ministry in worship leading).  She has always been a great admirer of my husband as he has had a significant impact on her life spiritually.  However, since she arrived at our church, I feel very uncomfortable with her "level of admiration."  It has subtlely taken on tones that are far beyond admiration.  Once she joked about running off and having an affair with my husband.  (I told her that her comment was not funny - she apologized.)  On another occasion her 2-year-old son called my husband "daddy," and she giggled saying, "If I had married [my husband], he could be my son's daddy." And then just yesterday while passing by my husband, they bumped, and she giggled saying, "I am doing the bump with your husband, Suzanne."  She comes from a very troubled background, and her comments are making me crazy.  I spoke at length about it with my husband (back a few months ago), and he assured me that he was not in the least attracted to her, and that he would never spend time with her alone.  (He has avoided any time with her alone, but at odd times she has come into his office unannounced.)  However, her affection seems only to be growing and my feelings of concern are at a peak.  I feel so ill at ease knowing that this woman is infatuated with my husband.  She calls him almost every day with something pertaining to the service and she is always wanting us to get together on a social basis.  Someone else in the church as well has noticed her infatuation.  What should we do??? My husband is not as upset about this as I am and thinks I am over-reacting.

Teresa  2/20/98  As I read your letter about the "worship leader" of your church, I can truly see why you are upset and concerned about this.  I want to strongly urge your husband to BE CAREFUL.  The devil can bring the temptation upon him so strong that in his own strength, he will not be able to resist.  He really needs to take your concern seriously.  My husband was tempted about 8 years ago for a lady who had just lost her husband to cancer.  She leaned on him the last three months of her husband's life.  Right after he died, she expressed her love and appreciation to my husband for his comfort and pastoral care.  My husband felt such strong feelings for her because of her loss that he realized he had fallen in love with her.  He expressed these feelings to me and we both immediately fell on our knees to ask for God's help.  It took us three months in prayer and Word-searching to help my husband get over his temptation.  He was ready to throw away his ministry, his family, his love for the Lord, everything for this woman.  Of course, now he is so glad that he resisted temptation.  He NEVER wants to go through that again, and neither do I.  If your husband has not faced this type of temptation, he doesn't realize the power it can have over a person.  I also urge you to pray daily for your husband.  Also, pray with him.  Stay close to each other.  Don't allow anything to drive a wedge between you.  Keep your marriage vows.  Be his lover, as well as his wife.  You won't have to worry as long as he feels that he has "steak at home."  I will join you in prayer.

Patricia  3/20/98  I was very concerned when I read your letter about the worship leader interested in your husband.  Typically, our husbands don't always take these inappropriate signals from women very seriously, and the wife is usually accused of over-reacting.  Hopefully, by the time you see this response, the matter will have been resolved.  When she makes inappropriate comments in your presence, tell her calmly, but firmly that what she said is offensive and disrespectful and you would appreciate her not making such comments again.  If she persists, I think it would be appropriate for your husband to make it crystal clear to her that HE does not appreciate her forwardness.  At some point, she needs to hear the message from HIM that her advances are not appreciated nor welcomed.  Continue to pray for her as it is clear that she has some unresolved issues in her own marriage, but do NOT allow the enemy to sow a seed a discord in your marriage through another woman.  It also occurs to me that since she is in an influencial position of ministry, which a praise and worship leader is, her life must be an example before the congregation and she cannot afford to allow her infatuation (read lust) to destroy her ministry.  Your husband may want to consider approaching her from the standpoint of her responsibility to her calling and that her behavior brings dishonor to the Lord.  Will keep you in my prayers, Suzanne, and I know the Lord will work this out for your good.

Suzanne  3/20/98  Thank you so much for your support and words of advice.  The issue is still an issue, and it has taken some time for my husband to see the seriousness of it.  He now agrees that something needs to be done, but is unsure what the appropriate response is.  I like what you said, Patricia - about immediately responding to the inappropriate comments.  I have kinda done that, but need to be much firmer.  I covet your prayers.  Thanks.

Nikki  3/25/98  Hmmm, worship leaders being interested in our husbands may be a rather common problem...are they always younger and thinner than we are?  When my husband and I came to our church, the worship leader became unduly interested the name of needing counseling for a recently broken relationship and then to consult with him regarding the various areas in the worship service.  She, too, wanted to be friendly with me and for us to go out socially, she and her son, my husband, daughter, and me.  It was easy for me to see, however, that her entreaties to me toward friendship were simply to be close to my husband.  At first, he, too, believed I was over-reacting, but reason did prevail when he realized that she was calling daily and wanting meetings, then coffee, then lunch downtown to discuss choir robes and dropping by our home to just "visit."  He graciously explained to her, finally, that in today's world it was just not appropriate for a minister to spend a great deal of time with one of his female parishioners, and no time alone with them, and that it would be detrimental to both of them for there to be the appearance of a special relationship not shared by other members of the worship committee, etc.  I may not be saying this as well as he did but it essentially solved the problem...she still likes to talk to him of course, and occasionally wants to spend an evening with us watching movies or going for lunch or supper, but we have been able to decline so far without hurt feelings.  Time is so limited, anyway, as all of you know, that when there is an evening free...we truly want to spend it as a family.  But, all this to say...perhaps your husband can explain to her that even seemingly innocent overtures can be misinterpreted and put them both in a difficult situation (especially him)... relationships with parishioners really need to be close, but not intimate, warm, but still's sometimes a hard line to draw, but absolutely must be there...and be visible.
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Suzanne  2/22/98  I am a 28-year-old pastor's wife.  Right now I am in my husband's office during the Sunday morning service.  We have been at this church for a year and a half and I cannot stand it here.  It is getting to the point that I don't even want to come or be involved.  The people are ok here, I just do not feel loved, accepted or appreciated.  I recently took over the position of nursery coordinator just so my husband would be happy and so that the people would stop saying that I'm not involved.  I don't even want to do it.  I think I need a personal retreat.  I don't doubt the call of God on my life, however I am wondering why He led us to leave our other church and come here.

Annie  2/26/98  Suzanne, it sounds like you are going through difficult times.  I too went through a very difficult adjustment when my husband and I came to this church.  (I could have written your letter a few months ago!)  I felt like I had to give up so much (my family, an incredible job, fantastic friends and support system, etc.) only to move to a small town and a small church.  I too was not feeling appreciated at our new church.  However, recently the Lord has finally brought joy to my heart and given me peace.  There were two major things that really helped me.  First of all, I began to ask the Lord to give ME vision.  (Without a vision the people perish.)  I just got down on my knees and begged the Lord to show me His heart for my life.  Even before I finished praying He began to answer those prayers.  The second thing that happened was that the Lord began to show me that He had a lot of things He wanted to do in my life.  He was taking me through this "identity crisis" of sorts and very difficult time for the purpose of working in my heart.  If for no other reason (and I hope there are other reasons), the Lord has us at this church at this time for MY for character development.  I still have difficult days, and lonely days, and times of wishing we were back at our last church, but on the whole I have a renewed sense of vision and excitement for what the Lord wants to do in and through my life.  I have been praying for you, Suzanne.  Let me know how things go.

Suzanne  3/19/98  Annie, thanks for your prayers.  Things are starting to come around.  I'm learning to find friends outside of the church.  Also, I told my husband a few weeks ago that I just want someone here to hug me.  Last night in church a lady came up to me and gave me a big hug.  I almost started to cry and when I told my husband, he did start to cry.  He's been praying for that for me.  Another lady presented me with a gift last night.  It was just what I needed, but God knew that, didn't He?  We are going to look at some houses today and suddenly the idea isn't that bad anymore.
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Wynn  2/25/98  Husband is pastor.  Church is doing well but WE are in trouble (and I don't think he has a clue)!  He just doesn't "hear" me when I try to share my heart.  His usual response is "your faith is small" or "don't talk and think negative" or "I'm listening to you" ...and then he just does what he wants to do anyway, so why bother?  Case in point...his 28-year-old daughter (my step-daughter whom I did not raise and who does not care for me) is getting out on parole (felony theft) in March.  He went to the parole hearing and was surprised to hear that she had named OUR house as her residence.  A stable environment is a condition of her release.  He did not object and when he told me this I was stunned into utter silence.  I have not spoken up yet, but am so angry I can barely speak to him.  Of course, we are currently teaching a class TOGETHER on holiness.  His daughter claims to have been born again while in prison.  This may be true and I wish her all the best, but I do NOT want her in my home.  To make matters worse, I am privy to information about her that I do not think he knows.  I was informed by another family member that his daughter is gay.  I have no facts to support this and do not want to repeat it, but I am concerned about our 7-year-old daughter.  What is making me absolutely boiling angry is that when I asked him would it be alright if MY daughter (his stepdaughter whom he did not raise but is cordial to my husband) and her grandson, could stay with us for a few months before she goes back to college, his response was "I'll think about grown children will stay with us that long."  What guarantees do I have that his daughter will not be in our home for months on end, although he contends it will be just a few weeks.  Please!  Some collective wisdom NOW.  I want to be obedient to the Lord, but I think I'm too hurt and puzzled to hear Him clearly.  I know this is a long story, but I really do need help.  I love my husband with all my heart, but I am very disappointed in him right now and I don't feel I can share that with him.

Essie  4/19/99  Wynn, I feel you girl!  The worst hurt in the world is the kind that comes from your husband-pastor.  (or is that pastor-husband?)  Generaly husbands who don't listen are not submitted to leadership.  I realize your husband is the pastor but he should be submitted to the leadership of someone else.  Perhsps this person could get him to think about how his actions are affecting you and your relationship with God.  If thsi does not work, pray.  Ask God to show him.  Sometimes God can reveal what our mouths can't seem to communicate.  I really hope this helps.  I'll be in prayer for you.

Anna  3/19/98  I am a youth pastor's wife in a relatively small church.  It seems every time we turn around, we're being attacked by the Senior Pastor and his wife.  So far, I've sat back and kept quiet, but it is really starting to bother me.  It seems like a "jealousy" thing because it seems like it happens when things are going well with the youth ministry or the Lord really uses my husband in a mighty way in the church.  HELP!!

Princess  4/17/98  Anna - We've just gone thru the same thing.  As God uses your husband, Satan attacks thru the Senior - usually because he's jealous.  Although it burns you up, keeping quiet is the best way.  But talk as much as you need to to God.  Tell Him all about it - even though He already knows.  In our situation it would have been the worst thing in the world if I had said anything.  My husband tried, but the Senior denied attacking him and it only got worse.  Pray that God will move mightily thru the Senior and use him.  Remember to do good to those who persecute you.  God will bless you and help you thru it.  Isaiah 41:10-13 says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.  Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them.  Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.  For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."  God helped us in our situation and did just what this verse said.  Our Senior is not pastoring anymore, and most of the people now see what he was doing.  God sees all and knows all.  He's in control, even though it doesn't seem like it.  Keep giving it to Him and watch what He does!

Ema  5/14/98  Anna, if you can keep in mind the story of David and King Saul.. King Saul was David's Authority and he was very jealous of David.  He was afraid David would "take over."  King Saul made several attempts on David's life.. and how did David respond?  David realized that God had annointed King Saul and that he must not rebel against him-not touch him.  He had plenty of opportunity to hurt the King - but he didn't.  At times we are faced with an Authority that we feel may be so mean and hurtful, but all with purpose.  I believe the Lord allows us to be in these situations to clean out the pride that we might have in our heart..the pride of Saul.  It's a honing, a purifier.. At the end you will be happy that you went through this terrible time - for you are being "prepared."  The Lord knows the intents of our hearts.  If you wish to do the very best, you may go through the very worst of times to prepare you.  Just go to your cave as David did and pour your heart out to the Lord.  He will give you peace in the time of trouble.

Anna  7/16/98  Princess and Ema...thank you for your responses.  It is still tough at times.  It seems they take every opportunity to try and make us look bad - especially in front of the youth and their families.  I keep praying and try to stay focused on the purpose of our ministry - we're there to reach teens for Christ and as long as we line up all we do with the Word then we're doing what we're supposed to do.  The ministry is growing and the teens are "on fire" for God.  I thank God for His faithfulness and strength.

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Annette  3/19/98  I am looking for someone who has the address of "Lydia Magazine" in Germany.  A magazine for Pastor's wives.  If you know anything, please e-mail.  Thank you.

Debby  3/27/98  Annette, the info I have for Lydia is Lydia, Asslarer Weg 8, 35614 Asslar-Bergh, or fax: 06443/1707.  Hope this helps.  I really enjoy my Just Between Us, a magazine for ministry wives.  This is where I found the Lydia info.

Connie  5/7/98  Can anyone give me information on how I can subscribe to the magazine for pastor's wives, "Just Between Us"?  Thank you.

Debby  5/16/98  Just Between Us, Subscription Orders; 777 S. Barker Road; Brookfield, WI 53045; 1-800-260-3342.  1 year is $14.95 and 2 years are $24.95.  It is just a quarterly issue, but I've found the 4 issues a year very helpful.  Hope you enjoy them.

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Tammy  1/26/98  I think this is a great way for pastor's wives to give support to each other.  God is good all the time.

No Name  3/27/98  Just find this website very interesting!  Enjoyed reading and learning from other pastor's wives.  Thank you.

Rosemary  3/28/98  I am thankful to know this is online and if I have a need, I can come to someone who understands where a pastor's wife is coming from and to have someone to talk to if I have a need or just someone to pray for me.

Tamala  4/2/98  I love this, it is exactly what I was searching for being I'm usually busy during a scheduled pw chat.

Kim  4/14/98  My husband has been pastoring since 1996 and now I finally think I am getting the hang of it.  I had and still have several lessons to learn, but I think my head is getting a little softer (ha ha).  EVERYONE STAY ENCOURAGED!!!

High Calling  9/2/98 Thanks for this wonderful board.  I found it this weekend during a time a great loneliness and discouragement as a PW.  My heart goes out to so many of you who have written.  I am amazed at the difficulties unique to wives of men in leadership.  I didn't know this when we were serving in larger churches as an associate, but know their struggles intimately now.  I wanted to pass on what an older, wiser PW told me, "Live in such a way that they won't believe what they say".  We cannot stop the gossip and the falsehoods, but our lives can in time speak the truth.  I also want to recommend the book HIGH CALL, HIGH PRIVILEGE by Gail MacDonald.  I first read this 17 years ago when a new bride and PW and I find it helpful when I need to be reminded of things today. Remember to let the JOY of the LORD be our strength.

J.J.  9/2/98 I have just found this site today and I have it added to my bookmark list.  I am learning so much from you wonderful people, and I truly believe the Spirit led me to this site so that I would have a group with whom to share questions, concerns, prayers, and suggestions.  Shalom to each and every
one of you.

High Calling  9/3/98 Found this in a Moody Servant magazine.  The author is unknown.  Ministry is giving when you feel like keeping, Praying for others when you need to be prayed for,  Feeding others when your soul is hungry,   Living truth before people even when you can't see results,  Hurting with other
people even when your own hurt can't be spoken,Keeping your word even when it is not convenient,  It is being faithful when your flesh wants to run away.

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Amy  4/5/98  Hi, I am 28 and my husband has been the pastor at our current church for almost 4 years.  We enjoy the people and the ministry.  A few weeks ago one of the older women came up to me during the greeting time and slapped me on the behind.  This is the 2nd time this has happened.  I was shocked - and I asked her nicely to please not do that.  She has a history of mental illness.  Later she called my husband and said her mother used to do that to her, and she didn't mean anything by it.  He just replied, "It probably isn't a good idea to do that."  I explained to her that it's forgotten - just to please not do it again.  This morning I found out that she is going around telling people that I have her "pegged as a lesbian" and that I don't give her the time of day.  The people know how she is and they know me, so I am not too worried about them believing her.  But I feel like the situation needs to be addressed before the gossip goes any further.  Do any of you have any suggestions for this bizarre situation?

Mrs. Pastor  9/22/98 Dear Amy, I have been a pastor's wife for sixteen years.  My husband and I have founded and pastored many churches.  Your situation (though unique) is common in ministry.  Someone is unhappy with the ministries response to a situation and they begin to voice their "bad attitude" to others in the congregation.  We have learned through many mistakes, that the best thing to do is to ignore it all together, and especially the evil things that they say.  If people around you know that they are "TROUBLE" you have nothing to worry about.  If it was an individual who has a charismatic glow with people, then it would have to be dealt with differently.  I hope this helps!

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Gloria  4/21/98  Over the past few months, my husband, who has been a pastor for 10 years now, became very discouraged with the church and life in general.  We have been married now for almost 17 years and have had a wonderful marriage.  We have always had very good communication and the Lord has blessed us with that.  We have only been at the church we are at now for a little over a year.  There is great potential, but my husband is very impatient and wants to see more results (Now!).  Over the last few months, he has expressed that he is tired of the ministry, he would say, "What good is it doing, anyway!"  He gets tired of some of the apathy we all have in our churches, and sometimes the devil uses that against those in the ministry a lot.  Well of course, I tried to encourage him.  He wanted to find a secular job, but I kept telling him, "No, we are called and the Lord hasn't given me peace about this and until He does, we should just pray a lot more and seek His will."  He took this wrong, I guess and felt I didn't believe he could do anything else.  I kept telling him what a great leader and preacher he was, but that wasn't enough.  So along this time, he became a lot more involved on the Internet.  He would spend hours in the chat rooms...I hated it, but what could I do!  I couldn't watch over his shoulders all night!  He become involved with another woman that was hurting in her marriage.  At first it was harmless - a kind of counseling thing, but eventually he gave her his phone number at the church.  She began calling him every day!  Of course she encouraged him through his depression and told him (not even understanding what a calling of God is), that he could do anything...that if he was unhappy in his job, quit!  Well, thanks to the Holy Spirit's leading, my husband started feeling bad that he was keeping this from me and broke down and told me.  We both cried and prayed, because nothing has ever come between us.  I was angry, but eventually I forgave him.  Even though this relationship was never physical, it was wrong and could have evolved into something.  I talked to the woman on-line and let her know that she needs to be careful where she gets help and she realized how wrong she was...she knew how much my husband loved me and me him.  I try to encourage him more and be more open to him when he gets depressed.  He let me have complete control over the Internet and he does not go into chat rooms any more.  Whew!  The Lord takes care of us all!  All you pastor's wives, pray for your husbands daily and listen to them when they are hurting.  Don't be selfish like I was and follow the Lord's leading!
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Lynn  4/23/98  Please pray for me and my husband.  So much is going on.  He has been very ill and is going to have surgery soon.  On top of everything else our marriage is strained, he is having anxiety and panic attacks, he is on medication for depression, and to top it all off, we are at Seminary and now he does not know if he wants to be here.  I have no real close friends.  I am smothering.  I don't know how much more I will be able to endure before breaking down.  My father, who is not a Christian, is having to help support us while my husband is unable to work, due to his illness. a small church with no hope of growth has called my husband to be pastor.  We are in such need of money that it is hard not to see it as a source of money.  Please..I need prayer and support and friends who understand.

Pat  4/27/98  I am praying for you and your husband as you asked.  Has he had the surgery yet?  If so, I pray all is well.  Please know that you are in my prayers, Lynn, and that you have a friend who has been through the fire and survived.  If I may share one thing that got me past my breaking point, it is simply Him that He will allow no more on you than you can bear.  Many times I felt I could not endure another day, but He helped me to focus on Him and not my circumstances which were rather dismal.  It wasn't easy and there were many times when I questioned God and felt abandoned.  The circumstances actually got worse, but in His mercy, He taught me to stay in His presence through prayer and praise, and eventually the storm passed.  Without a doubt you have been bent, but I do not believe you will break.  Hope you feel the same way.  With much love and concern, your sister in Christ.

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Brandie  4/25/98  My husband and I have been called to start a church some 1500 miles away from home.  We know this is where God is calling us and we are going with great excitment as to what God will do with us there.  The problem lies with my parents.  They are unsaved and very attached to our 5 year-old daughter.  We have not told them yet of our plans, but plan on meeting with them in 3 weeks to discuss everything.  Please pray that God would work on my parent's hearts and prepare them for this in some way.  I feel that since they are not Christians, they will not understand and this could cause a family dispute.  Please pray that God would be glorifed this night and come out on top.  We want more than anything for my parents to become born-again believers and know God personally.  I would like you to pray for God's will to be done that night.  Thank you for your prayers.

Brandie  5/3/98  This is a follow-up on my prayer request, about telling my parents I'm moving: Thank you all who prayed for my parents when we broke the news on moving.  They were told yesterday, and things went pretty good.  It was not the time we had planned to tell them, but it was God's time.  My parents were the ones who brought the subject up and God led me from there.  I don't really know if it has hit them yet.  They seemed light-spirited and joked around about it.  So please pray that when it does hit them that they will handle it ok.  Also pray for their salvation, I would really love to see them come to Christ before we move.  Thank you again!

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Malinda  4/27/98  My husband is finally graduating from seminary after four very long and difficult years.  (whew...)  He has been pastoring three small churches for three years now and they have been wonderful to us.  We have been truly blessed by this charge, but these have also been the loneliest three years of my life.  The close friends I have are anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours away, which makes it difficult to spend time together and I don't feel safe to make close friends in my small community.  (I am sure some of you are nodding your heads right now!)  Well, because of his impending graduation, I have been feeling the strongest desire to move.  I just don't know that I can stay here another lonely year.  Neither of us have any idea how to transition from him being a full-time student/part-time pastor to a full-time pastor in this charge.  The churches are used to having a student with little time to spend on ministry and I think now they are a little nervous about going to a full-time pastor.

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